Everyone has their own story, what is yours?
Everyone has their own story, what is yours?
Ch 23. Communicate, Educate, Support.
Knowledge is power & perspective. Things that can never be taken away from you…
You create your own happiness & the people around you are meant to lift you up more, not drown you.
Before my journey across the world I bought some new books… This one stuck out to me the most.
The Wild Truth, a follow up to the book & film, “Into the Wild”. This is his younger sisters version of why he went into the wild, on his 23rd chapter of life. The forwarding author had his own journey at 23, and here I am, 23, and beginning my travels across the world (Books & the universe are magical no doubt)
This story made me realize the cycle of abuse and how hidden it is from reality. A whole new perspective on my life, the relationships I’ve had and will have…
The older sibling in an abusive house hold seems to take the responsibility, something I am reflecting on at 23.
Yet at 18 I had a similar situation to Caren, switching from abusive household to moving in with an abusive boyfriend. At first this relationship makes it seem like he is saving you from a life you have so longed to be away from.
Unfortunately as time goes on your quality of life too begins to diminish. The cycle of abuse continued, and now you feel more trapped than before with absolutely nowhere to run except back home?
It is a scary situation. Growing up in this household you seem to attract these people into your life unknowingly. It is just the cycle continuing without communication/education that this is not normal. It is all you have ever known…
One night I finally got the courage to pack all my things while he was sleeping and left.
I was lucky enough I could rely on my father to take me back into the house.
It was not a great homecoming, there were wounds I had left behind, not just for me, but my younger brother was clearly affected from me leaving. It was not an easy fix. I remember crying myself to sleep almost every night for months.
Time heals all, my brother slowly got better. The next man that came into my life was all I ever wanted, stable.
We spent 4 years together, my college years. He distracted me from the insanity I lived with. He showed me what true love could be. In the end he could not rescue me though, I had to rescue myself. He helped me grow into this independent woman who is currently traveling around the world solo.
Of course now I see some issues in the way he talked to me and behaved, everyone in your life is a lesson. Now that new men have started coming in my life I see the difference. Yes a few of the aggressive men have come in already. Now I know the behaviors and ways of thinking to avoid, the feelings I do not want to feel anymore. That is the true escape, knowing you do not need to accept this person in your life. The right person will bring out the best in you, make you want to be a better person, make you a priority. Do not settle for less.
We are all on this earth to be happy, to live fully.
There are other options, other people who can fit you & your life, who can help you along your journey of happiness but it comes with none of the negative comments about what you are doing, your beliefs, who you or your family/friends are, women, his mother, whether you are too small, too big, what you eat, these things matter! NO THIS IS NOT OK LET IT BE KNOWN! The cycle often starts at home, once women start to head out they find what they grew up around and start the cycle again.
You do not have to continue down this path. COMMUNICATE, EDUCATE, SUPPORT, Encourage your girlfriends, your sisters, nieces, daughters, to make the right moves when they complain, support them and show them they can be happy and successful without negativity, all they need is to look inside.
The worst thing you can do is stay silent, talk. Talk about how happy you are, how healthy your relationships are. Let someone know they are not alone, they can live this way too all it takes is awareness, communication, education, support.
